His presence...

Something I still have to remind myself of daily...

"GOD doesn't promise us that there won't be hard times, his promise is that he will be there with us when they come"

Love Comes Softly

***hopefully I didn't butcher that quote too much***

I've never been good with words...

but if I was...this is what I would have said.

http://wingsbirthday.blogspot.com/

I can honestly tell you that I do not know how my friend is being so strong. I love the LORD with all of my heart but to lose your child and still keep a positive attitude, to pick up the pieces of your broken, aching heart and try to keep living the life he's given us...that takes a strength I just can't imagine. Before I finally was able to get pregnant, I used to get so sad because I felt like I would always be missing the best part of life...it felt so lonely and it hurt so much to watch other women be able to get pregnant so easily...(we never really spent a great deal of time or effort talking about it with many people because it was much easier to just say we weren't ready yet...so many didn't even know we were having trouble)but now that I'm weeks away from finally giving birth to our own son and knowing the love we have for him...feeling that anticipation and excitement of his arrival. The beauty of every little kick and punch and hiccups...I wonder...what's worse...the pain of never knowing what it's like to carry your child, or to carry him for nine glorious months and have him ripped from your arms two weeks after his birth. My heart hurts for my friend in a way I do not have the words to describe. We joked that maybe someday our boys would be able to play and run together...and now that won't happen. What hurts even more is knowing that my pain doesn't even come close to comparing to hers...yet she is so very strong...her faith unshaken...even in the midst of all of this darkness and pain she is chosing to be a strong woman of faith, trusting GOD's plan for Ewan's and her life. I admire that. I hope that if anything like this ever does happen to us that Josh and I would be able to live out what we say we believe in the way that she and her husband are! If you pray, please continue praying for them...now more than ever, they need prayer...they have such a long road of healing ahead. I pray with everything in me that GOD will continue to bring them peace and hope.

He went home to be with Jesus...

I am so very sad to say that baby Ewan passed away last night... happy for him that he got to go home to be with Jesus. You'll be missed sweet Angel baby! :*(
Thank you to all who were and are praying for him and his family. Please continue to do so...

For more information on Ewan and his family go here:

http://www.team-ewan.com/2010/10/hope-that-we-have.html

33 weeks...

How far along: 33 weeks today!

How big is baby Jaden: He's approximately 4.5 lbs now and between 19-20 inches in length. Believe me this little ones boogy sessions are definitely becoming more uncomfortable due to the lack of space in my tummy...never the less they are still precious and priceless! I wouldn't trade them for the world. He is head down and his heartbeat is very strong. If he were born now, his lungs should be able to function on their own, however he would still need the incubator to keep warm.

Weight gain: 31 lbs...no comment there. At least it's slowing down. Hopefully once our munchkin gets here I'll be able to lose it...boy I hope he likes breastfeeding for several reasons...including the fact that it speeds weight loss in mommy! ;)

Maternity clothes: Oh yeah...

Sleep: Even with the lovely Snoogle pillow that my parents got me I still have a lot of problems with sleep. The snoogle is fantastic...even my hubby tries to steal it when he can ;) but unfortunately insomnia, heartburn and rash are also keeping me from sleeping well.

Best moment of the week: hearing Baby "J"'s heart beating again! Seeing a doctor that solved at least the rash issue on my hands. Apparently it's not just any old pregnancy rash on my hands but eczema that's flaring up really badly due to the hormones from pregnancy. This explains why my rash got so bad that my hands were swollen, red and cracked and painful(sounds glamorous, eh? Oh believe me it was!)Also when he checked me my cervix was still closed (which is exactly what I wanted to hear...with a family history of preemies...that's quite reassuring to hear.

Movement: lots and lots! Although the last two days he's kind of chilled out a little bit more...possibly because mommy's been a little stressed. Not sure.

Foods I love/hate: Probably still Paninis, Spagetti (which I so should not eat with heartburn issues!! I get to eat very LITTLE sauce...), I've been having some serious cravings for a good desert but haven't really given in to it....man I would love a good Tiramisu right now!!! Ahhhh!

Morning sickness: only first thing in the a.m. before I eat.

Peace, Courage, Strength...

Photo from Kirsten's blog.


Yesterday's celebration was sadly short lived. We don't know why Ewan isn't doing well, but he's back on ECMO. His parents are facing some unimaginably difficult decisions...please keep them in your prayers.

To read more about Ewan:

http://www.team-ewan.com/2010/10/nobody-really-knows-what-went-wrong.html

LORD, I pray for peace in their hearts whichever choice they make...I pray for courage and strength to make that choice. Please comfort them in these difficult times. No one should ever have to endure such pain and heartache, but for whatever reason it happens. I pray that our prayers will help them to know they are not alone in this time of hurt...we love them dearly. May we always trust your plan regardless how painful it might be and GOD if at all possible...PLEASE SPARE THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE LIFE!

Amen.

Great news!!

Baby Ewan is having a great day today! He will be coming off of the ECMO machine! A major step in the right direction!!! Keep praying for him ladies!!! I'm so happy for him and for his parents! I pray he just keeps getting better and better! Go baby Ewan! We're cheering you on...YOU CAN DO IT! PRAISE GOD for his miracles!!!

You can check updates here:

http://www.team-ewan.com/2010/09/tears-hope.html

Cute blog alert...

I can't remember if I've shared this one with you ladies before, don't think I have. It's so cute! The couple is in the process of adopting a child (something that I just love). If you get a chance, I'd check it out, you won't be sorry you did. It's so great to be able to follow their journey! It's just as exciting as following a pregnancy! :)

Here's the link: http://kazamy.blogspot.com/2010/09/being-honest.html

Enjoy!