Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I've never been good with words...
but if I was...this is what I would have said.
I can honestly tell you that I do not know how my friend is being so strong. I love the LORD with all of my heart but to lose your child and still keep a positive attitude, to pick up the pieces of your broken, aching heart and try to keep living the life he's given us...that takes a strength I just can't imagine. Before I finally was able to get pregnant, I used to get so sad because I felt like I would always be missing the best part of life...it felt so lonely and it hurt so much to watch other women be able to get pregnant so easily...(we never really spent a great deal of time or effort talking about it with many people because it was much easier to just say we weren't ready yet...so many didn't even know we were having trouble)but now that I'm weeks away from finally giving birth to our own son and knowing the love we have for him...feeling that anticipation and excitement of his arrival. The beauty of every little kick and punch and hiccups...I wonder...what's worse...the pain of never knowing what it's like to carry your child, or to carry him for nine glorious months and have him ripped from your arms two weeks after his birth. My heart hurts for my friend in a way I do not have the words to describe. We joked that maybe someday our boys would be able to play and run together...and now that won't happen. What hurts even more is knowing that my pain doesn't even come close to comparing to hers...yet she is so very strong...her faith unshaken...even in the midst of all of this darkness and pain she is chosing to be a strong woman of faith, trusting GOD's plan for Ewan's and her life. I admire that. I hope that if anything like this ever does happen to us that Josh and I would be able to live out what we say we believe in the way that she and her husband are! If you pray, please continue praying for them...now more than ever, they need prayer...they have such a long road of healing ahead. I pray with everything in me that GOD will continue to bring them peace and hope.