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Friday, December 10, 2010

I literally cried!

It's been a rough few days. Besides the usual no sleep (which for the most part we've adjusted to because baby boo has been a night owl since day one)and the overwhelming amount of things to get done (School is going to cost me my sanity!)and some other issues I'm not getting into right now...I ended up with some sort of either infection or clogged milk duct or something! Holy crap does that hurt! It still hurts, although I think it is getting better now. My poor breast swelled up to twice its normal size, the veins were protruding and it throbbed with out touching anything (I couldn't even hold Jaden near me)and nursing/pumping litterally made me cry because it hurt so bad!I tried to call the lactation consultant but she wasn't available and after doing some research on my own I just decided to wait it out. I can honestly tell you, I didn't know if I was gonna make it through yesterday! I totally had my first mommy meltdown. Poor baby boo has been gassy and uncomfortable the last few days and mommy hasn't been getting any sleep. Stress has been wearing me down...we both cried. I sat there holding my little monkey and just cried! I hate when I can't console him...it's like my heart is breaking!!! We're better today, but there is still so much to be done! I'm praying for the strength and energy to get through it all this weekend. I have a big project and final exam due next week along with my usual weekly school work. Have I mentioned I'm ready to be done with college? Sadly I have another 2 years to go after this! Wish me luck! :P

10 comments:

  1. So sorry! Have you tried putting a warm/hot washcloth on your breast(s)? Then massaging UNDER the clogged duct-not on top. It worked for me. You can do the same thing in the shower. I would do it BEFORE nursing. Some people say to use cabbage, but that DRIES up your milk. (I know it dries up your milk because that's how I got mine to dry up in two days after I stopped BF) (This is all info my lactation consultant told me). I hope that helps!! Hang in there :) *hugs*

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  2. Oh no honey, hang in there! Praying you get some relief asap!

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  3. Those baby blues will sneak up on you! It is completely normal! :)
    I am so sorry to hear about your booby issue! ;)
    I know how painful it can be... I pumped non-stop after Savannah was born, and then suddenly had to stop when she passed. So I feel your pain! Sometimes a HOT shower helps, you just can't let the water run directly on them... OUCH! Glad you are feeling better today! <3 (((HUGS)))

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  4. Poor thing!!! My sister went through the same thing too! And she had a colic-baby on top of that! I remember the beginning being the hardest for her and she didn't have school to deal with ugh! Praying for you!!!

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  5. So sorry! I can't even imagine that pain! I agree about massaging (even though I'm sure that's the last thing you want to do). Also, try not to stress when you feed Little Man... it won't help with letdown. <--- WAY easier said than done, I know! You are awesome for working this hard to keep up with breastfeeding! :)

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  6. I am thinking about you. Breastfeeding/new baby can be so extremely tiring and stressful, and sometimes you just have to have those days where you cry and let it out. I know you have the strength in you to pull through on the breastfeeding....

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  7. I've heard that can be really painful! I hope things are looking up and you're feeling better.

    Thanks for following my blog - I'm following you too now! :-) Your little boy is just precious!

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  8. Nadine, I totally feel your pain! Honestly! My breasts grew at least twice their size in literarily ONE day, and they are SO encouraged! You are at least strong enough to have made it through over one month with no melt downs. I couldn't even make it one week! This morning around 5am both Giada and I were just crying our eyes out because she was starving and wouldn't latch on, and I was in SO much pain and just exhausted from it all! And on top of it all you've got school work too?? I honestly don't know how you do it! I will definitely be praying for you girly!

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  9. Hey sweetie I am finally here. I tried to avoid the blogging because you know my personality but you have inspired me and I really want to be here for you as much as I can. Nadine I am praying for you and I know it is hard. If you really want to breast feed God is going to give you the strength. Listen to some worship music and just praise God. Sit in a calm room and think about your journey and praise God. Do not let anyone try to make you feel like a bad mom if you do not continue with breastfeeding because it is not for everyone. If you want it I am here to help you get through it and if you do not want it I am here to love and support you through it all. I love you and we will get through this together. I am interceding on your behalf. I love you and I am going to be here every step of the way however I can. One of the hard things to do will be to stop doing other things like school right now and focus on Jaden. It was hard for me after Micah because I really wanted to finish school but a wise lady told me that now was my children's time and if anything would ever have to give it would be everything else and not my family. I just finished watching Cheaper by the Dozen and I love the part where he says "If I screw up my kid’s life all of my success will not even matter." God will guide you on what you should do...but trust me you will not regret taking the time off to spend with just your family without all of the other stresses. Jaden can feel when you are stress and when you are calm. I am here if you need any help with school...Aaron can help with Math because I hate math...lol. Remember always I say what I say out of love. I love you sis and miss you guys so much. You will always be my BGIT...if you remember what that means. (Smiles)

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